Good-Bad Movie Recast: The Room

12 Jun

One of my fantasies if I were to win the lottery would be to take a bad movie and recast it. I always wonder when I watch independent and bad (not saying that bad movies are restricted to independent, because they’re not) if the movie had a budget and could get really incredible actors, a better director, and editor, etc. with the same script if the movie could be good.

I have a dream – and it’s to recast The Room with the following people.

the_room_recast_martin_scro

First off the new Room would be directed by Martin Scorsese, not that Tommy Wiseau didn’t do an incredible job, but… you know..

the_room_recast_benicio_del

First up is Johnny. Brooding? Check. Passionate? Check. 0% Body fat? No.

the_room_recast_charlize_th

I don’t know what Charlize would look like with crimped hair, a red dress, and light blue eyeshadow, but I think that she would make a good Lisa.

the_room_recast_leonardo_di

Classic American good-looks with the ability to steal away women from their boring future husbands.

the_room_recast_zac_effron

Less hair products would turn this hair into a lovely mushroom cut just like simple, loveable Dinny-Dinny-Dinny-Boy.

the_room_recast_meryl_stree

Don’t worry, Meryl Streep, they’re curing lots of people every day.

the_room_recast_marion_coti

Marion is the type of woman you could have secret girl talk with over a glass of wine and a throbing neck vein.

zach_galifianakis_mike

Two words Zach Galifianakis – “Me underwears”

the_room_cillian_peter

Cillian, you don’t have run bay to breakers, there’s too many weirdos. Ps – Watch out for that ledge, Mark might feel like doing something crazy like running or killing himself.

the_room_recast_chris_r

No casting changes needed.

the_room_recast_edward_nort

He feels like he’s sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off. Steve is probably my favourite character because of his randomness.

the_room_recast_simon_pegg

And last but not least, the red head at the party that makes sure we know that Lisa is looking really sexy tonight.

Agree? Suggestions? When can we start?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

30 May

Have you seen the trailer for Andy Sambergs new show on FOX? It looks… amazing. I’m percentages less sad that he’s left SNL because I know, at least for a short while*, he will be in a very amusing show.

*Good shows usually get cancelled

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DIY Garden Ornaments

29 May

The other day I was thinking about my garden, and I was thinking how much I love when gardens are full of bright blooms and are really colourful. The problem is that it’s impossible to have your garden always being pretty and bright because, well, everything blooms at different times, and if one thing in your garden is in bloom it probably won’t last for long and it possibly won’t be at the same time as something else. That is, of course, unless you’re extremely clever and dedicated, which I’m not. I love my garden, but I pretty much half-ass it. But I also want it to be pretty all the time, because a pretty house is a happy house.

The next part of this thought process is, well, what can I do to dress up my garden. The colour of our door and the big pot we have at the front are orange, so I’m sort of going with an orange theme. But at the same time I have a couple of bright blue lanterns (they were candle lanterns until I ripped the tops off of some solar lights and hung the tops with some wire on the inside, now they’re solar lantern – BAM) anyways with that in mind I started to think. I can’t build things out of wood because I don’t know how. I can’t build anything out of glass, and the idea of spray painting old garden ornaments is in the plans, but I have to find something cool to spray paint first.

What I CAN easily make something out of is FIMO! It’s so easy! I made some plant markers a couple of years ago so I know that they can survive outside, even throughout the winter. The DIY Fimo garden ornaments are inspired by fuchsia which is one of my favourite flowers because they’re so bright and extravagant.

fuschia_flower Photo credit here.

Step 1. Supplies

Buy Fimo or other brand of oven-bake sculpting clay, I used three different kinds to get the colours I wanted and they all worked the same. I bought a bright blue to match my makeshift lanterns, a lighter blue to coordinate with it (and not clash with the orange pot) and a really bright tomato red to stand out against the blue. The total cost was about $24 because the clay was not on sale. :( I also used scissors, wax paper, small bowels, wooden balls, and twine.

DIY_garden_ornament_1

Step 2. Smush the clay

into balls and then flatten them until they’re about 1/4″ thick. The amount of clay will dictate the size of the “flower”. Using a butter knife trace the shape of the flower into the clay. Cut away the excess.

DIY_garden_ornament_2

Step 3. Smooth the edges

After the clay is cut the edges are going to be all crummy looking and sharp, smooth them out with your fingers.

DIY_garden_ornament_3

4. Poke holes into the flowers

I used a straw!

DIY_garden_ornament_4

5. Put clay onto bowls

And mold them onto the bowls. Smooth out any indents you’ve made in the process. This will keep the clay from flattening when you bake them. Make sure the bowls are okay to go in the oven.

DIY_garden_ornament_5

6. Roll out some balls for the end of the “flower”

Roll ‘em, poke holes through ‘em. I used a BBQ skewer to poke the holes. I made 3 for each flower in 3 different sizes.

DIY garden ornament 6

7. Bake

Put all your clay onto a wax paper lined cookie sheet and bake according to the package instructions. PS this stuff really smells when it bakes, make sure not to do this before a meal.

DIY_garden_ornament_7

8. String them

Once the clay has cooled after baking it you can start to string the flowers. I used a hemp-like twine. I have shepard hooks out front I intended on hanging them on, so I made a simple loop to hook them on with.

DIY_garden_ornament_8

9. add the wooden balls and tie a knot

So that the layers of the flowers don’t move.

DIY_garden_ornament_9

10. Done!

Once you’ve added a ball for each layer you can string the last three balls at the bottom and tie a knot. It’ll look something like this when you’re done:

DIY garden ornament 10

Ta-daa! A handmade colourful piece of flora for your garden that never goes out of season! Heres a photo of it hanging in my front garden:

DIY garden ornament finished

The Wish List: May 2013

20 May

May has been a bit of an odd month; work has been crazy, trying to get anything accomplished has been like running in sand, the weather has gone from cold to hot to rainy and miserable. May is one of those months that can either be fantastic or a drag. So far this May has been a disappointment, but on the bright side, June is quickly approaching and maybe things will look a little better.

The Wish List May 2013 Edition:

1. Sunshine and warmness

beach_bbq

I will be playing the part of the happy lady standing on a stool and Leonardo Dicaprio can play the guy manning the BBQ. I could seriously use some nice weather, paired with some time off. I’m starting to turn into a crazy person, like I’m always on edge, moments away from Hannibal.

2. Pimms Limited Edition – Blackberry & Elderflower

pimms_blackberry_elderflower

I’m going to seriously lose my shit if I don’t get to try this. The greatness of living in Canada is an endless list of joys, however when it comes to liquor we get shafted. AND when it comes to limited edition stuff we usually don’t get it because Mr. Harpers all “nooooo Canada’s not allowed fun things” Example.

3. Record Play Speakers & Sam Cooke LPs

1970_record_player_dome sam_cooke_lp

I already have the badass record player, similar to shown, but what I don’t have is working speakers. I could break them worse, but I certainly couldn’t fix them. Nor am I equipped with the knowledge of where such speakers could be fixed. The second part of this is a Sam Cooke LP, I would play it so much at my beach BBQ people would be like, “Can’t you play anything else?” and I’ll look at them, dead in the eyes, and say “No.”

4. Crystal Necklaces

moonthangs_etsy_crystal_necklace

I’m going through a space and crystals phase, similar to the one I went through in grade 6. It turns out people don’t change, they just go through phases…like the MOON. These particular beauties are from Moonthangs.

5. Task lamp

restoration hardware sputnik tablelamp

My desk is a little dark, so brightening it up with this lamp from Restoration Hardware would be ideal.

6. Stargazing Nailpolish

paradise_nailpolish_picture_polish lets_go_crazy_deborah_lippmannpolka.com_opi_nailpolish

Why not have a solar system on your fingers? From Nail Polish Canada.

7. Fjall Raven Backpack

Fjall_Raven_backpack

It’s super utilitarian looking and the logo is a curled up fox! Awwwwwwww! I don’t know what’s more difficult, picking a colour or paying $75.00 for a backpack…

8. Zodiac Necklace

sagittarius_necklace

This is the constellation for Sagittarius, the coolest Zodiac sign. It’s science. Zodiac symbols are pretty and everything, but this necklace gets bonus points for being extra nerdy. From eriadesignsjewelry.

9. Toms Shoes

toms_shoes_black_suede_pattern

I haven’t obliterated a pair of Toms lately, so I think I will stray from my usual red and try out this snazzy black and white pattern.

10. Stereo with Dock

iHome_grey_iPod_dock_stereo

I currently have a cable that plugs into my iPhone to play music from it. My iPhone is in a case, and the plug doesn’t work when it’s in a case because the the plug is too big. I would love to have a stereo that i could plug my iPhone in without removing its case. I’m not sure if this one is the solution, but it’s cute, it’s listed as a “boombox” and it’s from, of all places, Walmart.

11. A print of “Nebula” by Jeddeka

Nebula_by_Jeddaka

Soooo beautiful. Obviously its digital art, which seems to be a hurdle for some people, but the way I see it art is art. People ragging on something for being shopped (except if it’s a ladies body, making it perfect) is lame, it’s just a new type of art. You’ll get used to it. This is by someone named Jeddaka.

Over the Love

17 May

How amazing is the Great Gatsby soundtrack? If you answered “incredibly” then you are correct. It’s massively good. One of my favourite songs is by my favourite artists Florence + the Machine. The song is called “Over the Love”

 

Speaking of Baz Luhrmann films and amazing soundtracks does anyone remember the excellence that was Romeo and Juliet? Radiohead, Garbage, and to a lesser extent Everclear. In particular Garbage’s song “#1 Crush” was so good, I listened to it approximately a trillion times. I remained a very dedicated Garbage fan for years. Also, guys, that was 1996 aka 17 years ago. *cue everyone crying*

This song seriously stands the test of time, amirite?

leonardo-dicaprio

Ps – please don’t take a break from acting.

Get your DIY fix (6 photos)

14 Apr

Reblogged from theBERRY:

Click HERE for more crafts!

Read more… 5 more words

DIY fix!

Mint Chocolate

14 Apr

I have another new painting for sale inspired by the freshness on this mint green colour. A little more pop arty and a design that would make a cute fabric design I think. “Mint Chocolate” is available for $90 and is 16″ square. Email me if you’re interested in this painting: kristenlourie@hotmail.com

mint_chocolate_kristen_lourie

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